


Flowers bloom and wilt

by Cardiac_Gay



Category: The Haunting of Bly Manor (TV)
Genre: Alternate Ending, Angst, Angst and Feels, Bittersweet Ending, Canonical Character Death, Drowning, F/F, Fix-It of Sorts, Grief/Mourning, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Love, pretty sad ngl to you
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-14
Updated: 2020-12-14
Packaged: 2021-03-10 21:15:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,059
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28073817
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cardiac_Gay/pseuds/Cardiac_Gay
Summary: A one-shot of that dreadful Lake scene, with a little bit of spice. That spice being a painful confession a few days before Dani left. Jamie's thoughts at the lake and finally an ending that is far different from the original. I will not lie, the ending is still bittersweet. However, it's enough for me, is it enough for you? That's the question.
Relationships: Dani Clayton & Jamie, Dani Clayton/Jamie
Comments: 4
Kudos: 23





	Flowers bloom and wilt

**Author's Note:**

> Would just like to say, I am not usually an angst writer considering I'm sensitive and can barely read it. However, I could not get this idea out of my head so, I grabbed the tissues and wrote until my heart ached. Which granted didn't take long :) Hope you enjoy it, I'm nervous as angst is not my area. 
> 
> A possible trigger warning with Aquaphobia, there is an in-depth description involving drowning and the fear itself. 
> 
> I do not own the characters or anything related to The haunting of Bly manor Tv show. I only wrote this story. I have used a few quotes from the show and paraphrased others however everything else is of my own creation.

Daunting. That is all Jamie could think looking out at the lake. Standing before it, with boots that were heavy with clay, Jamie felt as though she couldn’t breathe. This murky pond before her held the most precious thing in her life. It had wrapped her lover in its dirty cold arms and dragged her down to her death. One that was unjust and painfully cruel.

All Jamie could hear was a broken confession. One that came a few nights ago, one Jamie now realises had been Dani’s last attempt at warning Jamie that her end was coming. A confession that clarified Dani knew she was slipping and with her last nights on this plane, she had tried to prepare Jamie. Couldn’t go without trying to ease the ache she knew she would leave.

Dani in that very moment had to swallow bile at the thought of the destruction she was about to cause. Her beloved Jamie would break and she knew it, she knew that she would cause a hole that no flower could fill.

The confession came out in a broken rasp, spoken in a haunted whisper, a sign she was not fully present. They were both lying in bed, clutching each other in a grip that was borderline painful because deep down they both knew, their nights were now numbered in single digits.

_“Jamie…” was whispered with such fragility that the false sense of security they had both built, shattered in seconds. Shattered as though a light bulb had just blown and left anxiety lingering In its wake._

_Dani had to swallow and gulp in air as though she was underwater already. Panic had flooded her because of what she was about to confess. She knew it would hurt and leave a lasting impression but they had promised to always be honest. Always tell the truth, especially when it came to what they were feeling. So she did. As soon as Jamie inhaled sharply, Dani began to speak._

_“I have never told anyone this but I struggle with aquaphobia. I am terrified of drowning” it was too late to take it back but Dani was scared._

_Her biggest fear was soon to become a reality she would be forced to accept._

_All Dani could think was, why? Why, does she have to die in that way? The fact she would have to leave her wife and willingly succumb to death was bad enough. So, why should she have to also willingly drown herself, the one way she never wanted to die. Where is the justice? What has she ever done to deserve such cruelty?_

_Fear was bubbling in her stomach like lava in a volcano._

_Water._

_An element she has always had to look away from before the anxiety attack came. One she ran into willingly to save Flora even though her stomach was churning with each slowed step she took. She had the courage then because the love for that little girl overpowered any fear she felt._

_However, this time. She had to walk into that pond knowing each step was possibly her last. She would have to inhale and allow the water to fill her lungs. No one was left to tuck her away. She would have to feel it all. Witness it all._

_The fight response. Where she will thrash with each blackening spot that begins to swarm her vision. She would feel the pain in her lungs as they begged her to breathe. The water clawing its way down her throat and into her lungs where it will curl up and settle. All until she finally falls into darkness. All of this on top of the gut-wrenching fear that the water itself would cause just by a single glance._

_So, was she wrong to tell Jamie? Yes, but how could she not._

_She was scared, truly fucking scared and even though she knows Jamie can’t relieve that, can't stop it from happening, she just wanted someone to understand._

_Wanted someone to know this selfless act was truly hard to perform but her love for her wife overpowered it all. This is not to Romanticise what would happen, never, but it was to help herself come to terms with what was coming. The thought of hurting Jamie made this sacrifice a little easier as she would literally die before she laid a finger on her wife._

_“Dani, baby, come here” was forced out as though Jamie had to say it quick or the words would remain frozen in her throat._

_Those four simple words told Dani everything she needed to know. Jamie saw her, always had. She had read between the lines of that confession and saw the meaning behind the words. The ones Dani would never voice but truly meant._

_‘I love you, I will do this to protect you but fuck I’m scared and right now I just need you to hold me. Lie to me. Tell me it's going to be okay as for now, whilst I am in your arm, I can believe it’._

Jamie now stood, shucking off her coat preparing herself for the sight she is about to see. Tears were already embracing her cheeks as if they were trying to replicate Dani’s sweeping thumbs. They didn’t come close. Nothing ever would as nothing would bring her peace, comfort and warmth as Dani had.

Had.

Even that little word broke her. Seized her heart in a vice-like grip and squeezed it and god did she wish it would crumble under the weight. Take her to Dani.

So, she ran. Ran into the water like a soldier on the front line and dove with all her might as she reached the centre of the shitty lake. As she dove deep she found opening her eyes to be a true battle.

As once she has opened them, she would have to see. See an image that will forever be engrained into her mind, one that will haunt her every time she closes her eyes. With the last bit of courage she could find, she opened those hazel eyes and broke.

Her soul shattered seeing the other piece of it below her, dead. Her heart leaked its agony into her bloodstream dispersing the ache hoping to ease the overwhelming grief that fell over her. It didn’t work. In fact, it bubbled up with such strength that she screamed into the water. Screamed with everything she had. With every emotion she felt. She pierced the deathly silence with her searing pain.

_“Take me. Drag me down. Drag me to lay beside her”_

However, she felt as though the water suddenly was repelling her. Pushing her to the surface.

Dani.

It could only have been Dani, pushing her to live. Pushing her away and Jamie couldn’t help but feel rejected.

How can Dani not see that without her Jamie won't live, she will barely survive as her reason to fight is no longer beside her? Instead, she is anchored to a dark, devasting place alone for eternity and Jamie only wanted to be there too. Be there to hold her again. To take the loneliness away. To be her light in the dark depths of water surrounding her.

Water.

Dani was scared of water and now she would have to exist in it. Anchored to her fear, alone.

So, Jamie as soon as she surfaced, dove again. This time with true motivation as she had a hidden weapon.

 _“Dani, do you want company?”_ silence followed.

No movement at all occurred, it’s as if time itself had stopped.

Then all of a sudden she was forced out of the water and pushed to the edge. Okay, she had pissed her off. Jamie could only smile knowing this reaction is exactly why she had said it. See, Jamie knew her wife and she knew Dani would remain quiet as if they both didn’t know, dead doesn’t mean gone.

They had both lived through Bly and it is for that reason, Jamie knows Dani is still there watching it all unfold but will remain quiet to not hurt her. Somehow thinking showing Jamie a sign would make it harder on her but she had forgotten how her wife is deep down a little shit.

So, Jamie had uttered that sentence not to manipulate Dani to let her join her but for Dani to show herself and scold her. That’s all Jamie wanted, confirmation that Dani is still there. As Jamie had a plan.

 _“Jamie, what on earth are you doing by coming here and then trying to get me to kill you”_ the shrill broke the still air that had clouded over Bly. A shrill that caused Jamie to sob in relief. It worked.

“ _Now, now Poppins you’re the last person who should be shouting, even if you’re hot as fuck whilst doing so”_ Jamie smirked.

Yes, she did in fact just flirt with her dead wife’s ghost and as weird as that is she couldn’t help but not care. She will take the weirdness if that means she can talk to Dani.

“ _What are you doing here, you shouldn’t have had to see this. I’m so sorry Jamie but I couldn’t let her hurt you. I woke up that morning with my hand closing in on your throat and I would not allow her to have you. She can have me but not you. So I had to, baby, I had to”_ Dani pleaded, sobbing with guilt.

 _“Dani, I love you”_ It was simple. Something others would see as insignificant but for Dani, it said it all.

Jamie wasn’t angry at her, she understood it all. The guilt lifted but the sadness did not. How could it? She had to leave her wife and their beautifully boring life. Nothing could right that wrong but she was not bitter. Why, because Jamie was unharmed by the lady. Bly was once again safe and that meant Jamie would be too.

Jamie isn’t the only one who knows her wife inside out. Dani knew her plan. Knew it as soon as Jamie had spoken those words. She wanted proof that her plan would work and now she had got it. Dani wasn’t bound to the lake, she could walk freely on her own time scale. She wouldn’t forget as she is not being punished.

The lady of the lake by creating her own gravity through bitterness was given a harsh punishment. She would forget everything and become, a nothing. Never meeting her daughter again was her punishment. How can you meet her, when you cannot remember her.

However, Dani is different. The new lady of the lake was pure. Someone who had a pure heart filled with only love and goodness. So she wasn’t punished after death. She wasn’t confined to the lake. There would be no time loop for her. She would exist day to day doing whatever she pleases, going anywhere she wanted.

This was her justice. She asked herself before her death why, and the universe answered. You cannot cheat death, but you can cheat what follows it. She was granted her truest wish. Jamie. She can be around her until they are to meet again and they will, when the time is right.

Her memories will be kept, her features too and finally when her lover succumbs to life’s cycles she will get to be with her again. Forever. Dani can hear her lover's words ringing in her head.

_“You don’t get to decide who lives and who dies. I’m sorry Dani but you don’t. It’s a fact, we’re meant to die. It's natural. Beautiful”._

God, she was so right. Life is a cycle of birth, life and death however they knew a secret. There is another stage. Rebirth. It's not rebirth in the sense they are granted a new life but It does grant them an afterlife together. A love that will last for eternity. A life with her soulmate that will last forever. It’s enough for Dani and it’s enough for Jamie.

So, until then. Jamie moved back into Bly and lived with Dani in her own gravity. It was not the same of course but it was enough.

Moral of the story.

Flowers bloom and they wilt but they will always, bloom again. Why? Because that’s life and it's beautiful.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for giving it a read. Hope you enjoyed it. Means a lot if you have made it this far as I mentioned at the start angst isn't my area, so I was nervous to post it. Especially as my first A03 post so thankyou, have a great day or night for the fellow insomniacs.


End file.
